IUC Film Review: The Tourist ain’t Making HISTORY!

Posted on January 25th, 2011 by HisHighness in IUC:Bits, IUC:Entertainment

The TouristGive any filmmaker a mega million buck budget and the end result should be nothing less than Picasso or Mozart. Since becoming a mega film star few roles have been adapted into masterpieces by Angelina Jolie. Johnny Depp, an actor I think is brilliant, should have known better than to get involved in this debacle. It’s by far the worst film of his stellar career. The tourist looks like it was stitched together quickly to try to capitalize at the box office. I feel comfortable saying Angelina’s best days on the silver screen are long behind her.
“You can fool people sometimes, but you can’t fool all the people all the time” – Bob Marley

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  1. Patty Anne said on January 25th, 2011 at 5:21 pm

    I was stunned when the Golden Globes insulted JoHo and Depp by nominating their film The Tourist, touted by Sony to be a Thriller, in the comedy category. Clearly a slap on the hand to all involved in this epic failure. Then I was amazed at the lack of comprehension (or totally doped up) JoHo’s badly performed PDA at the GG. What they say about her in HW must be true, “she’s bat-chyt crazy and high on drugs”….ut oh Brad, you traded down.

  2. I'm on the bidet said on January 25th, 2011 at 5:47 pm

    Mourning the loss of $10 for the movie ticket, eh Ian? I’m wondering if maybe Depp has become more about “for the money” than about “for the art”. Maintaining your own personal island must require a rather substantial income flow. Perhaps he is working on some low or no-income films/projects on the side, but I doubt it, as he’s got yet another POTC movie commitment to fulfill. Look out Johnny, or soon you’ll be begging Ashton Kutcher to co-star with you in “21 Jump Street – The Movie” . As for AJ, even in that photo it looks like Depp is holding her upright . . . oh wait, I forgot the non-stop unconditional love from her family keeps her buoyant.

  3. joanne said on January 25th, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    I think Jolie expected Depp to be easy like Pitt was. She was ready for a new triangle and sell her movie like she sold M&MS, most people went to that movie for the love scene. I tried to watch it but found it boring so I didn’t see that scene. All people wanted to know was if he was humping her during filming.

  4. alif said on January 25th, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    Abraham Lincoln, our 16th president said, “You can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all the people all of the time.”

    I read that Johnny Depp did the movie as a favor for a friend.
    He’s so talented that he can just do another sure-fire story and continue his string of boxoffice hits.
    Well, unless another friend wants to make a movie.

    Brangelina made a 2 mil. donation to charity around the time “The Tourist” was said to be a miss. Just in time for tax deductions.

  5. Say What? said on January 25th, 2011 at 10:51 pm

    How Do You Know? (Reese W., Owen W., Paul R, & Jack Nicolson) The production cost 120 and so far made 32 mil worldwide in 5.4 weeks. While TT cost 100 and made so far 205 mil and countiing worldwide in 6.6 weeks. You call that a failure. WTF!!! Boy, Brangelina really get under skin don’t they. Ian, do you really want Angie’s day to be over? I mean how are you going to make money off her? If she retires, you won’t be able to make up lies about her & Brad anymore or write more book about her & Brad. Are you still upset that your book didn’t do well?

  6. Iona said on January 26th, 2011 at 12:12 am

    I also read that Johnny did this in the hopes of helping out his friend and business partner, Graham King. Depp’s production company, Infinitum Nihil, has some sort of 3-year deal with GK Films. King helped finance Depp’s dream project, The Rum Diary, and Depp himself put a lot of his own money into getting The Rum Diary made; it’s finally coming out in October. I think he’s taking advantage of the big money offers because he needs the money to maintain his lifestyle, take care of his family-kids (lots & lots of $ for security) and to fund Infinitum Nihil’s several projects under development, including Dark Shadows, Hugo Cabret & a lot of other more arty films studios are afraid to finance right now. He also started a record label. Also, a couple of years ago he said he was going to retire by the age of 50. He has 3 films to promote through October, while also filming Dark Shadows in April, possibly the Oz prequel in June and another film in the Fall. Like Ian, I think he’s brilliant, but he’s looking haggard and there are rumors about major personal problems. I wish he could take a break to refresh. A lot of people are dumping on him now, and he doesn’t deserve it. He’s a very kind person who has used his current high-powered status to help others get roles. Is it coincidental that ex-girlfriend, Jennifer Gray, was on Dancing with the Stars, ex-girlfriend Winona Ryder has gotten a lot of roles big films lately like Star Trek & Black Swan, ex-21 Jump Street castmate Holly Robinson just starred in The Apprentice, etc.

  7. French chick said on January 26th, 2011 at 4:08 am

    I think JDepp fell in love with the french movie “The Tourist” thus wanted to do the remake. Only he didn’t know at the time that Ajo would be the one ruining the project !
    And it’s not a comedy, the original I mean. The original movie is scary and makes you sweat the whole time. I have no intention of going to that one LOL !

  8. Astro said on January 26th, 2011 at 6:39 am

    How many BLOCK BUSTERs has Angelina had?…Can anybody tell me the names?.

  9. joanne said on January 26th, 2011 at 7:37 am

    Real ones or ones where they fudge the numbers?

  10. joanne said on January 26th, 2011 at 8:52 am

    It seems the media is trying to protect Jolie. If they knew she was that unstable, why did they try to elevate her to saint?

  11. Say What? said on January 26th, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Angelina – Salt (293,502,218) This will go higher because it will be opened in China.
    Wanted ($341,433,252).
    Ticket sales for TT is not done yet ($205,031,271) but if you lovely Ian fans would like I be happy to provide you the final numbers.

    How many block busters has the following actresses had playing the lead?

    Julia (Eat Pray Love) Brad is one of the producers.
    Sandra (Blind Side)
    Kate W.
    Jennifer A

    Can anyone tell me the names?

  12. joanne said on January 26th, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Jolie needs to move oversees where most of her fans are.

  13. I'm on the bidet said on January 26th, 2011 at 12:05 pm

    @Say What?:
    Okay, if you want to make economic arguments, in terms of return on investment, these actresses produce a superior return to studios over AJ – Anne Hathaway, Cate Blanchett, Jennifer Aniston, Meryl Streep, Sarah Jessica Parker:

    Also, you are citing how much money came in for Salt, The Tourist, etc., and comparing that to how much the movie cost to make, i.e., the production budget. However, you should also include the marketing budget, which “tend to equal anywhere between half or three times the production budget” (1). So, that’s another $50-$300 million before The Tourist can be argued to be showing a profit. If they spent the minimum on marketing, then fine, its making a profit, but I kind of doubt they spent the minimum. Maybe you can research up their marketing budget, it would interesting to know the details.

    And lastly, AJ’s movie ‘Hells Kitchen’ cost $6 million to make, and brought in $11,710, so she isn’t immune from budgetary flops like ‘How Do You Know?’ either (2).

    (1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Film_promotion
    (2) http://boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=hellskitchen.htm

  14. Say What? said on January 26th, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    @I’m on the bidet:


  15. newbie said on January 26th, 2011 at 2:25 pm

    Here is details on her other movies. I got the information from boxofficemojo and did not include animated movies in which only her voice was used:

    Hackers – $7,563,728 (no budget listed)
    Foxfire – $269,300 (no budget listed)
    Love is All There Is – $61,875 (no budget listed)
    Playing God – $4,166,918 (no budget listed)
    Playing by Heart – $3,970,078 (budget: $20M)
    Pushing Tin – $8,408,835 (budget: 33M)
    The Bone Collector – $151,493,655 (budget: $73M)
    Girl Interrupted – $48,350,205 (budget: $40M)
    Gone in 60 Seconds – $237,202,299 (budget: $90M)
    Lara Croft – $274,703,340 (budget: $115M)
    Beyond Border – $11,705,002 (budget: $35M)
    Taking Lives – $65,470,529 (budget: $45M)
    Sky Captain – $57,958,696 (budget: $70M)
    Alexander – $167,298,192 (budget: $155M)
    The Good Shepherd – $99,480,480 (no budget listed)
    A Mighty Heart – $18,935,657 (budget: $16M)
    Beowulf – $196,393,745 (budget: $150M)
    Changeling – $113,020,256 (budget: $55M)

  16. alif said on January 26th, 2011 at 5:36 pm

    Trevor Nielsen (?) is the one who advises her on career moves, from what I’ve read. I read that he even developed a swelled head over his success.
    These career moves include donating to charity, adopting foreign children, being seen at disaster sites and doing photo-ops that shows how domestic she is. The paparazzi being notified ahead of time.
    Other celebs picked up on this. They do whatever they need, to sway the public.

    The public seems to have no idea what constitutes sainthood. None, whatsoever! So when bloggers label her a saint they just buy the imagery; and that’s what Trevor probably already knew would happen.

  17. Astro said on January 26th, 2011 at 6:06 pm

    @Say What?:
    OMG, Which movies were: Reese, Halle, Julia (Eat Pray Love) Brad is one of the producers, Sandra (Blind Side), Cameron, Nicole, Scarlette, Kate W., Jennifer A????.

    I never heard about those titles!!!. When did Angelina star these movies: Reese, Halle, Julia (Eat Pray Love) Brad is one of the producers, Sandra (Blind Side), Cameron, Nicole, Scarlette, Kate W. and Jennifer A????.

  18. Keane (I Need a New Moniker - Any Ideas?) Cyber Queen Supreme said on January 26th, 2011 at 7:14 pm


    Never a truer word spoken!

  19. rushdog said on January 26th, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    I don’t think The Tourist will be the end of Jolie in the movies. It’s a roller-coaster of a business. Publicity/magazine headlines of any kind is what keeps so many of these people working. It’s the outside stuff, personal choices that could do her in. She’s a polarizing personality not because of anything she’s accomplished or a position on an issue, but rather choices she’s made in her personal life. I believe she’ll have a real problem if someone is able to connect her distant past to her recent past and present, especially if there’s hard evidence. At that point she becomes more trouble than she’s worth for TPTB.

    Any type of creative endeavor is highly personal. What I may enjoy in a movie may bore someone else to tears. IMO I’d place Jolie, Pitt and Aniston no more than a B- in terms of talent because all three are inconsistent in their work and performance, and all three rely too heavily on marketing to stay relevent. The truly talented actors don’t have to do that. Jolie can open an action film; doesn’t mean the film will make any money for the studio though. Her domestic box office has been dismal in the last few years, the international box office has fared better. Boy hooking up with Pitt, all that moving around and family/humanitarian photo ops sure helped sell her internationally, hey?

  20. Jan said on January 27th, 2011 at 12:20 am

    I didn’t see the movie, only the trailers. In the trailers, J.Depp looks sooooo out of place.

  21. Liz E. said on January 27th, 2011 at 3:23 am


    Neilson hasn’t advised Jolie or the Jolie Pitt Foundaiton on philanthropic matters in about 3 years. Neilson was replaced by a Washington powerhouse, the Endeavor Group.

    Jolie adopted her eldest son from Cambodia and eldest daughter from Ethiopia before Neilson. Jolie’s visits for the UNHCR to areas where disasters or unrest leave refugees in their wake similarly began way before Neilson.

  22. alif said on January 27th, 2011 at 4:30 am

    @Liz E.:
    Once one learns the initial lessons, they can use them again and again at a later time.

  23. alif said on January 27th, 2011 at 4:34 am

    @Liz E.:
    One reviewer described her as a “comatose sculpture”. He further said that Johnny Depp followed her like a “puzzled puppy” throughout, and that the talents of other actors were wasted.

  24. alif said on January 27th, 2011 at 4:39 am

    And suspiciously once the photo-ops were over she was gone from those sites, unlike Sean Penn and George Clooney who continue to serve without the publicity; or they use any publicity to keep the plight of the people they help before us.

  25. SparklingTwinkle said on January 27th, 2011 at 1:16 pm

    Her talent obviously lies in the bedroom, although BBT said otherwise.

    She is now only famous for being the mother to Brad Pitts children, she wasnt ever a talented actress.

    G.Int.. she was basically being herself on the screen, hardly worthy of an oscar, but being related to daddy dearest surely did help secure that win

  26. newbie said on January 27th, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    “Neilson hasn’t advised Jolie or the Jolie Pitt Foundaiton on philanthropic matters in about 3 years. Neilson was replaced by a Washington powerhouse, the Endeavor Group.”

    As of 2008, he still advised the Jolie Pitt Foundation – his firm was paid $224,564 for grant management. The income the foundation earned that year was $282,984. The 2009 990 is not available yet. Hopefully her new advisors do a better job of investing the foundation funds. The website to look up the returns is: http://foundationcenter.org/findfunders/990finder/

  27. rushdog said on January 27th, 2011 at 2:44 pm

    @Liz E.:
    Interesting about Neilson not representing them in 3 years.

    I recall distinctly that Ian posted that he received an e-mail in the wee hours of the morning from someone in Pitt’s camp who was incensed about Jolie. This person e-mailed something like “why do you think Neilson no longer represents her.” I swear this was the beginning of 2010 but a quick glance through the archives and I couldn’t find it. At the time I thought it was very telling and because the quotes by Neilson about Jolie had ceased. Gee, three years go – Jan 2008/spring 2008 – what was going on then? The twins pregnancy, her “pregnant” trip to Baghdad, Star magazine’s headlining article insisting they were married in NO and confident because of their source (I recall that Star had real egg of their face for that one); the old drug den tape, CGs departure as publicist…interesting.

    I believe Pitt’s trip to Washington was after that Ian post though. So does he represent MIR (and Pitt thru that) and not Jolie and the JP Fndn (and neither of them here)? That’s the way I thought it played out.

  28. liv4 said on January 27th, 2011 at 4:34 pm

    @ RUSHDOG: Is this the link you are looking for? http://ianundercover.com/2010/01/26/iuc-exclusive-why-the-silence-wheres-geyer%e2%80%8f/#comments

  29. rushdog said on January 27th, 2011 at 6:08 pm

    Yes that’s it! Posted Jan 26, 2010. Maybe I skipped over it because Geyer’s name was on it (ha!). Although the person doesn’t sound that incensed with AJ, it mentions a split in representation that had occurred “long ago.” LIz E. says 3 years so the split in rep. could have occurred sometime in 2008 and filings for that year would have been required. Thanks liv4!

  30. siska said on January 30th, 2011 at 6:53 pm

    this movie fault are from a weak script and wrong casting and the director lack of skill (eventhough he is a great director from his other movie)..but its still made money,eventhough they relay heavyly from overseas market..remember the production budget not including marketing budget..but usually the marketing budget fall on the distributor who will half the sales figure..as far as I read..the sales number in USA half went to the film company and half went to theatre..so if achieve 80 mil in usa its means 40 mil only went as a income to cover the budget..and for overseas the percentage became smaller..cause they had to share it with third party the overseas distributor..(FYI..Mel G made a lot of money as a overseas distributor..for his ICON company).so if made overseas 100 mil,only a third of it back to the film company.
    But The Tourits will do ok..specially with dvd and future earnings..it earns better than The Green Zone of Matt Damon or the the Repo Man by Jude Law or How Do You Know by Reese.
    I think movie company should be more smarter about their budget now days..its silly to spend soo much money on actress salary without knowing for sure if they money will get back..and I heard they actually starting it with lower salary plus percentage of profit as a new way..Leo did it in Inception so did Jim C on Yes Man.
    Thats way Summit Ent..with their Twilight franchise..becaming a powerful new player in HW with their low budget but money making way…(they sign on new faces for the series before hand).

  31. siska said on January 30th, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    @Say What?:
    btw sandra fare better than AJ..specially with last year blockbuster The Proposal and The Blind Side (who she co produce)..She is the first women who is the highest grossing movie sales beaten down Tom C and all the male last year..including Jen A as a profitable actress compare to AJ..but I admit AJ play more big budget movie than Jen..AJ is more like Tom C,Will Smith calabre..because she plays action movie well..thats way her highest earning one is that type of movie..(violet,action stuff)..thats her money maker.

    Thats way the Tourist a bit hard to shallow because she play a lady..and she is defenitely miscasting.
    Because of her publicly known persona its hard to believe that she is a lady or a weak woman ..its opposite with JA..because of her well known “poor Jen” persona..its hard people to believe when she play strong woman..
    Thats why a great actor will be much better if their personal lifes hidden..people still hard to seperate between real and fiction…This is why there are soo many beard or fake relationship in HW.

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