Wow, I must be doing something wrong not to even get a mention, maybe I need to up the malevolence a little bit to really make an impact! That is a joke of course, I am now trying to keep a low profile (cough, bullshit, cough) honest guv! I didn’t realise Celebitchy was picking up stories from here, I thought the sit was up Angelina’s arse, never read it much though. Do they realise we critique the nature of every story in a tab though and try to figure out whose PR person made it up? If they did they’d probably understand where we’re coming from better. And they are right the NE does get scoops, just as the UK News of the World does, they’re so behind with this so, they’ve barely touched it. Too caught up with Susan bleeding Boyle! And under the guise of Ian I will reveal that there may or may not be a new post about the Brandge (I feel this new word is a good conflation of the central issues at stake here, so hope we will all learn to adopt it!) tomorrow – I think that should cover all bases. Yes The Mail does do some quite hilarious novel-like gossip stories, usually an amalgamation of all previously known rumours with no basis in reality whatsoever, quite entertaining though nonetheless. Yes that is Beckinsale’s baby daddy, much more down to earth/normal looking than Len Wiseman hey? Although I hear that marriage is also finito – probably what her and Posh are bonding over! If you look a pics of Beckinsale before she came to HW you would not recognise her, she is the classic English rose Oxford grad playing the ingenue in literary classics and kooky parts in contemporary films. So strange that she moved to HW, got breast implants and a perma-tan and started ho-ing it up for the benefit of the awaiting paps. Her career has never really hit the heights as a result of it though, I think she should have stuck to being the kooky English rose, at least it made her different to all the other fake-boobed perma-tanned ho’s in HW! And I actually didn’t know that you got a medal with an OBE or any other title. I am anti-monarchy so think the whole thing is a load of baloney. Plus so many get given to celebs, as if they are such noble members of our society!

And totally a side note: I didn’t realize the gentleman who played Tony Blair in “The Queen” was Kate Beckinsale’s daughter’s babydaddy. The picture of him with his daughter holding up his medal (The OBE) from The Queen was really cute. She’s got his eyes. Question: Is the OBE the medal, or just a title?

And Keane, since you are Ian, when are we getting another Brand story? (That was a complete joke)

Good lord, they really don’t have anything better to do, do they?! What is the report now? Am I maintaining my reputation as evil, malevolent gatekeeper of IanUnderCovern.com? Lol

Did someone post that on the comments section of Dlisted? That is hilarious! Well done MK – ha ha!

Did you think David Cameron would have done any better? The Tories wanted lighter regulation of the financial systems than the Labour party did, or are you referring to something else? Do you think Maggie Thatcher and John Major left the UK in a great state and the Labour party came in and wrecked the wondrous society they had created? (Sold off all social housing under the right-to-buy scheme, promoted a policy of everyone for themselves over social responsibility from “our Maggie” and the meaningless, pointless policy of “back to basics” from Major). What did you tihnk these policies achieved? We would have been bankrupt whoever was in power, as neither party wanted heavy financial regulation, in fact we would be worse off because it would have been even less controlled. And you think the Tories would have dealt with the crisis better than Labour, with their policy of non-intervention, allowing the banks to go to the wall, are economy to be possibly irreparably broken and thousands upon thousands of more jobs lost? You prefer this as an option? Not that I 100% agree with the actions of the govt, they should have nationalised the banks to force them to lend again not just bail them out, but Cameron’s inaction would have been much worse for us as a country. And yes , knowing a fair few toffs from Eton, I would not want them running the country and representing my and other people’s interests in a million years. Good luck to you if you welcome them though, I’m sure it will be interesting to see how people who have no concept of living in poverty will represent the interests of the poor. And yes I am left-wing and wouldn’t vote Lib Dem in a million years as they wouldn’t have the first clue how to run this country. They’re better of sticking to dating cheeky girls and appearing on satirical panel shows in my opinion. The Times is a Rupert Murdoch paper and as such could not be more biased or right-wing, that does not mean it doesn’t have pretensions to seriousness, but ultimately it is still a rag. And Cazza, the Tories supported the war as strongly as Labour did, they have more outrageous expenses claims than the Labour party (servants quarters, a duckhouse, cleaning my moat and so on) and we don’t actually have ID cards yet, I believe they are only for foreign students. And as for the smear on a man who has just lost his son I really have no idea what you are talking about.

I like to think that metaphorically, spiritually, philosophically, and sometimes physically, we are all on the bidet . . . because if we aren’t, the bidet is on us! As in the immortal words of Pliny the Elder, “in bidet veritas” (note: line also attributed to Pliny’s brother, Poopy the Younger).

That reminds me it is time to do bong hits!