IUC Exclusive: Ex Lover of Lilo Claims “I banged her at least 50 times While she dated Sam”

Posted on April 4th, 2009 by HisHighness in IUC:Entertainment, IUC:Exclusive

As reported here months ago, Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are finito.  Check out Perez’s article today  And now, an ex lover of Lilo reveals to IUC how he got Lilo to cheat on Sam during the past year.  “Tim” asked me to keep his name confidential.  Some of his claims are:

“I banged her (Lilo) at least 50 times while she dated Sam”

“Lilo is a maniac in the sack…numerous times I fucked her before she went out at night with Sam”

“I want to marry Lilo…she’s a great gal who was wise enough to realize how sleazy and stupid Sam is”

“Lilo likes to get down with two or three men and women at a time…I love it…we have an open relationship”

“Lilo’s so hot between the sheets…if I didn’t get it for free I’d pay her anything I had to fuck her…she does everything I ask, including spanking and dominating”

“I don’t mind if Lilo fucks other men when I’m not with her, it actually turns me on.  She loves older men, loves fucking married guys.  It turns her on.  She’s one smart chick”

  1. Kate said on April 4th, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    This girl needs some serious help before ends up like ANS. This guys is an asshole for even telling you any of that. jmo

  2. Kate said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    I can feel my blood pressure rising just reading this again, “she is one smart chick” who the hell is this moraon.

    Ian I watched your movie and saw how disgusted you were with people like this when you had to deal with them when you were undercover, I honestly don’t know how you do it. How , how do you keep a straight face, how do you refrain from not laying in wait outside this assholes door and just whacking the crap out of him with something. (yeah I know, don’t kill them, that is the DP)

    I gotta ask , is he good looking, hot, ugly, well endowed, what makes him think he is all that?

    I remember Dawn said on your show she thought Lindsey would end up dead at a young age, sounds like she may be right. What is wrong with Dina Lohan?

    I know Angelina is screwed up, but she has mental problems and a philosophy to go with it, this girl is just being used and abused by everyone around her, or so it looks to me.

    Now if this was your daughter, wouldn’t you want to castrate this guy for those comments. They are just down right indecent..he banged her, he fucked her 50 times, he would pay for her. but he would marry her, yet he is calling her a whore….again he is a moron, and I hope at some point we get to find out who Romeo is.

  3. egally said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    ““I want to marry Lilo…she’s a great gal who was wise enough to realize how sleazy and stupid Sam is”"

    Uh, on the offchance that this dude actually exists and isn’t complete fiction in order to get a response out of Lindsay Lohan/Sam Ronson, brother’s got some serious issues to resolve before he calls someone lese “sleazy and stupid”. Sam Ronson sounds like the only one of all of them with any decency.

  4. egally said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    And if he’s an “ex-lover” of Lilo’s he’s not even part of her setup anymore is he? So what would he care about marrying her or ragging on her? Sometimes I think you bloggers are in cahoots to gain webhits.

  5. Mememe said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:27 pm

    He’s calling sam sleazy and stupid? The words pot kettle and black come to mind!!

  6. Elle said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Exactly. I love how “Tim” calls Samantha Ronson “sleazy” and “stupid” and proceeds to call Lilo smart because she’s a nympho with no morals. Wow.

    I don’t like watching the tragic downfall of Lilo. It’s not entertaining, it’s just sad.

  7. Elle said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    “so hot between the sheets”? That’s so 70’s/80’s…like a baby boomer said that. Who cares if Lilo is a hot, dirty slut? Didn’t we already know that? She’s needs to get a film job soon or there is really no reason to talk about her anymore.

    Whatever. Next!

  8. Elle said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    Being a slut just isn’t scandalous anymore (unless you are married or on the down low)

  9. Kate said on April 4th, 2009 at 2:58 pm

    Yes it is sad isn’t it, she is not even devious, just a mess.

  10. Billi said on April 4th, 2009 at 3:39 pm


    It is sad, she was a talented actress and and so pretty before she lost control of her life. Between useless parents and substance abuse, her future looks pretty grim. This Tim guy is grade A piece of trash.

  11. Keane said on April 4th, 2009 at 4:19 pm

    Yes I think the difference between Lindsay and the likes of Angelina Jolie is that its pretty obvious to all but the most blind/innocent/stupid that Lindsay is a drugged out, sexed up mess. She’s not pretending to be mother theresa, mother of the year or wife of the year, her life is oretty much an open book. Everyone knows she’s not really with that Sam girl and not really into her, is that really a great surprise, she’s no great raving beauty is she? She’s with Sam because she hasn’t got a nice family, is needy, insecure and desperate, and she’s so drugged up that she bangs everything else on the side. There is no false image of her out there that bothers me really. Let’s not give this sleaze any more airtime, its not like he’s got anything remotely interesting to say anyway.

  12. Canuck said on April 4th, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    Somebody get this woman the help she needs. It’s just sad to watch her self-destruct…

  13. No sympathy for selfish druggies said on April 4th, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    It’s hard to feel sorry for a meth head. The unbelievable selfishness of an addict is disgusting. I’m tired of the “it’s a disease” cop out…most people with diseases are on medication and WANT to get better. She obviously doesn’t.

    Until she’s really clean and out there giving back to her community, THEN I’ll feel for her. But sympathy is what addicts want. It feeds their victim role and it’s infuriating as hell when there are TRUE victims in the world.

    A has been actress, full time druggie is not a victim…just a selfish little shit head who fucks for attention and money. If Sam is bank rolling her drugs and shopping sprees and all Sluthan has to do is fuck her then she IS a hooker.

    Case closed.

  14. I'm on the bidet said on April 4th, 2009 at 4:54 pm

    Okay, if this guy was ‘banging’ Lindsay (I wonder if she noticed?) during her relationship with Sam Ronson, that means during 2007 to present, according to dates at the Who’s Dated Who website. Others linked to Lindsay from 2007 to present include: Courtenay Semel, Heath Ledger, Tony Allen, Jude Law, James Blunt, Ryan Phillipe, Calum Best, James Righton, Criss Angel, Riley Giles, Spencer Guilbert, Adrian Grenier, Alessandro Di nunzio, Dario Faiella, Steve Rushton.

    Semel can be dropped because indications are this a male speaker, and Ledger can be dropped for obvious reasons. Also, it seems unlikely this is a very famous person, else there would have been more tabloid coverage, so Jude Law, James Blunt, Ryan Phillipe, Criss Angel, and Andrian Grenier can be dropped.

    That leaves Tony Allen, Calum Best, James Righton, Riley Giles, Spencer Guilbert, Alessandro Di nunzio, Dario Faiella, Steve Rushton.

    It would seem one would have to live in the Hollywood area reasonably near Lindsay to have sex with her over a long period of time as the interview suggests, so that would seem to eliminate Best and Righton (both British), Di nunzio and Faiella (both part of Lindsay’s sex tour of Italy), Tony Allen (Atlanta, GA), and Riley Giles (from Utah rehab stint, though is certainly willing to talk about her).

    That leaves Guilbert and Rushton, or someone else. Guilbert wasn’t into drugs or booze, at least according to him, and so wouldn’t last long in Lohan’s world, and was replaced by Australian Andy Valmorbida at some point. Rushton seems like he’s been to productive musically to have time to ‘bang’ Lindsay with that frequency. So for now, my guess is “none of the above”.


  15. Nina said on April 4th, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    She’s one smart chick.” What a moron. Yeah, she’s a regular Einstein. That’s why she’s broke and her career is in the toilet because she’s so smart. Your sources, Ian, are really in the gutter.

  16. cuze said on April 4th, 2009 at 5:17 pm

    What I don’t get his how come this girl keeps getting jobs in HW. There’s so many young talented actresses out their that would kill to have a shot at some of the roles she has been given and they would have been so much more appreciative. This girl is a spoiled turd that takes everything for granted. I can’t stand her.

  17. Keane said on April 4th, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    Ooh look its a new poster, hi Nina, always nice to get a new contributor. You obviously don’t think much of Ian’s journalism or the stories on this site though, so I was just wondering what brings you here?

  18. Keane said on April 4th, 2009 at 5:32 pm

    @ cuze – I don’t think she’s got any gigs for quite some time now. Ugly Betty was her only real gig in recent times, and that didn’t end too well, whether it was her fault or not. She’s mainly been making money from turning up at Sam’s DJ events, I think they share the fee cos they’re obviously paying for her and the publicity she brings not Sam. And I’m not sure if she’s spoiled so much as such a fucking drugged up, fucked up mess that she can’t even begin to sort herself out. I feel sorry for her more than anything.

  19. Kate said on April 4th, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    They need to put her in rehab long term, for a year, cut her off from all her Hollywood contacts, and give her a chance to live again.

    I understand why Ian did the story, it is to expose the fake Sam / Lilo connection, because she is using that for PR and that should be exposed. This guy though sounds like a pig and a lowlife and exposing him would be doing all the chicks out there a favor, stay the hell away from him!

  20. cuze said on April 4th, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    I feel sorry for her too.. way to young to be washed up and finished. She’s going to do some serious harm to herself if she doesn’t get help soon. She did have a photo shoot for Marie Claire magazine last Novemember and talked about wanting to record music. Don’t know what will happen with that though.

  21. knowone said on April 4th, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    I’m really glad to hear that Sam has stopped this messed up co-dependent relationship. I always suspected that Sam had real feelings for Lilo and tried very hard to give her some stability, but instead, Lilo almost destroys her. That’s what addicts do. Sam has a supportive family. Lindsey does not. Lindsey has to learn how to stand on her own feet, sober. With or without her nasty family. The best solution is to get the ENTIRE Lohan trailor trash family into intensive therapy, because it is that family that is the root of LL’s problems. But she is an adult, in denial, and addicted in every direction. This scum bag is precisely who she needs to get away from. Britney 2.0 And I believe Britney should NOT have gone back on tour so soon. That is NOT healthy for her.

  22. knowone said on April 4th, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    Ok, I still got more stabby rage I need to get out about hw and all its ugliness. What these young stars need is to get out of that town. Make a quiet life, go back to school. Study at home, learn how to cook, clean, live like normal people. It is the sycophants (often their own parents, friends, management) that do not care whether these young girls live or die. As long as they bring in the dough. A poster above said LL needs a job. I strongly disagree with that. Work, the work that she does in HW contributes to the disease that is fame. Her life is worth more than her job. Her life. She needs to save her own life. I don’t want to see this young girl die. It scares me what is happening. OK, got to go lie in a fetal position now. lol. peace.

  23. McDooks said on April 4th, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Wow, if this source is for real- just goes to show what kind of a sleaze Blohan is to attract sunch scuzztastic partners.

  24. jude said on April 4th, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Um…smart? No skank. It’s absolutely pathetic how this girl that Dina raised this girl to believe that all of this is okay. As for the 70’s comment, her damn life sounds like Boogie Nights, except she’s not a porn star and somebody should give a damn (DINA are you listening?) Sad. I put my money on dying of AIDS at a very young age, or maybe on the sidewalk outside the viper room.

  25. jude said on April 4th, 2009 at 7:34 pm

    As for the comparison of Angelina and Lindsay…….negs.
    Angelina has no EXCUSE to be a stupid, vapid, skanky, dog blowing, baby adopting , drug addicting, death threat making, press manipulating ho at her age. She is a wife and mother. There are other people she should be committed to rather than herself. She should understand the impact she has to other young women following her lead in Hollywood.
    Lindsay is allowed to be stupid for just a bit longer. The Miley Cyrus’s of the world aren’t looking at her.
    She isn’t married, she has no children. It’s her. Unfortunately, that means there is no one who gives a damn that this girl is being treated like human trash.

  26. Kate said on April 4th, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    Good point. As far as Angelina being married, still no proof on that.

  27. Cherie said on April 4th, 2009 at 8:52 pm

    this is just disgusting.

    i think the one person who doesnt deserve this shit is Sam.

    “TIM” is the sleazebag.
    marriage. right.

    ppl like that make me sick really.
    this is real classy of u Ian.
    ive always loved reading this webpage.
    but this “article” is a disgrace.

  28. Meah said on April 4th, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    People banging this crack whore, what a shock. Sam and LiLo broke up. What would we do without that breaking news! Oh wait, its all over the blogs. Never mind.

  29. Tigerlilly said on April 4th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Ok, first of all, am I the only one that thinks Lilo looks like a freaking dwarf in the pic above? I mean, bitch totally got a “Little People Big World” bod happenin’ there. Maybe it’s the total lack of a waist-line or the AWFUL choice in footwear or her 5head above that Chucky Doll face, but anyway….
    This skank deserves her downfall. She’s worked hard for it. If there’s a piece of trash in HW who deserves to be trashed by a piece of trash, it’s Lohan.

  30. section9 said on April 4th, 2009 at 9:59 pm

    I give Lindsey Lohan a 40% chance, at least, of working for Ron Jeremy within the year just to make ends meet, unless she detoxes and starts over.

  31. Jamie Bancroft said on April 4th, 2009 at 10:33 pm

    I just wish she would stay gay. If she goes back and forth between guys and girls it sends out the wrong message like when Anne Heche does it.

  32. jude said on April 4th, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    Well, I think she goes back and forth because she is so fricken mixed up. I don’t think she had a time to discover who she is —sexually or otherwise. There could be many reason’s she’s with SAM. 1–she’s gay…2- she’s bi and this happens to be who she’s attracted to…3.) she isn’t gay or bi persay, but has an emotional need met by SAM which would explain her attraction -sexually to men.

    Just a thought.

  33. jude said on April 4th, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    Well, Skangie may not be married, but she should be committed to the father of her children who happens to live with her.

  34. CC said on April 5th, 2009 at 9:49 am

    As if any of this is a shock…I’ll be surprised when she cuts that witch’s hair, stops smoking, starts working again and is off drugs. Now, THAT will be newsworthy!!!!!!!

  35. Z said on April 5th, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    I so agree with you, Kate. LL really needs help now. And this guys sounds like a total asshole.

    “She’s one smart chick” Huh? That guy is a jerk and an idiot. imo.

  36. Z said on April 5th, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    I read you next comment…I see you notices the smart chick remark, too…yeah, that really irritated me, too…the whole thing. I couldn’t agree with you more.

    “What is wrong with Dina Lohan?” Really! Where the hell is she. Does she care so much about making money that that is it for her? Talk about blood boiling!!! Grrrrrrr.

  37. Z said on April 5th, 2009 at 12:32 pm

    There is something about this that makes me terribly sad. This girl must have gotten no love growing up. Her parents..ugh…I’m at a loss for words. Take her younger sister away now!

    @No sympathy for selfish druggies:
    You have no understanding of addiction. This is so typical. People with addictions need help…and a lot of times they don’t want to admit it. Yes, they can burns their lives down and hurt people in the process….but they need help…not this kind of crappy attitude. Ir really pisses me off.

  38. Billi said on April 5th, 2009 at 5:49 pm


    Some celebrities behavior I have no sympathy for but with Lilo I have compassion. I hope someone close to her that she trusts will inspire her to seek long-term rehab. I agree with Kate’s earlier post, LL needs to get away from the Hollywood scene and her enablers.

  39. Angie's Fax Machine said on April 5th, 2009 at 7:06 pm

    They do need help, but they don’t always want it… junkies that is. In the meantime, you cannot entertain them by making excuses for them. It only makes it worse. They are liars, users, manipulative, etc. Tough love is what they need. When they realize they sincerely need and WANT help, then one can step in. I have some sympathy for LiLo, but also know that she got herself in the shithole that she’s in… she’s either gonna wanna crawl out of that shit or drown in it.

  40. Z said on April 5th, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    I agree, some just seem screwed up and manipulative….with LL she obviously had such horrible parents…I really feel for her. I hope she gets the help she needs.

    @Angie’s Fax Machine:
    I agree that enabling is not the way to go, and some addicts are hard to feel sympathy for because of their awful behaviour. But I mostly believe they got there for reasons that most people wouldn’t want to have to go through. Many came form terrible circumstances and don’t know how to get out…and yes, many don’t want to admit they have a problem, because then they have to quit using…or at least have fewer excuses. I still feel compassion for many addicts…and esp. the ones that are willing to get help. Even if they fall back…it’s mostly sad to me. Not something to be angry about.

  41. Billi said on April 6th, 2009 at 7:18 am

    I hate that picture of LL with this post, it just makes the story more salicious which seems to be the intent. Ian don’t you have a less provocative picture of LL? It’s like taking advantage of her when she can’t help herself. JMO.

  42. No sympathy for selfish druggies said on April 6th, 2009 at 8:48 am


    I have struggled with addiction, Billy so my “crappy attiude” is actually a REALIZATION of the damage I did to my family. IT WAS SELFISH AND I DESERVED NO SYMPATHY BECAUSE I MADE MY OWN CHOICES…no one FORCED me to take and enjoy drugs/alcohol…..sometimes when people have an opinion other than yours, it doesn’t mean they are ILL INFORMED. Perhaps that person KNOWS WHAT THE HELL HE/SHE IS ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  43. Billi said on April 6th, 2009 at 9:18 am

    @No sympathy for selfish druggies:

    I’m glad you were successful (yes?) in beating your addiction but have you considered anger management counseling? There’s no need to SCREAM your words in order to make your point!!!!

  44. BoredLas said on April 6th, 2009 at 9:27 am

    Lilo drives me mad, yes she is a complete fame whore, but then look at the mother and father, she didnt have a lot of hope did she, esp mixing the drugs in as well. God help us, there are two more sprogs to make into fame whores, keep up the good work Dina.
    Unfortunately HW isnt what it was, full of famous filmstars (the beautiful people), its now full of talentless fame whores, that CAN clearly have a career in HW just being a trainwreck, I CAN DO THAT, DOES ANYONE WANT TO WATCH ME 24 HRS A DAY????? Unfortunately the pap coverage is starting to get like it was when Brit had her melt down. Does LL have any fans? and yes, why does she keep getting work. I think she should just f**k off to the porn industry, I wouldn’t have to see her then.
    As LL gets so much publicity I have been hanging here enjoying all the Ange stuff, but now he is even invading this site…… please cant we just ignore this talantless twat, and make this site a LL free zone?
    Please Ian, please, please – PS Am I also the only one who doesn’t find her attractive?

  45. Keane said on April 6th, 2009 at 10:44 am

    I don’t think you can really generalize about people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol like they are one homogenous group. Like people in general, they are in fact all different and have different reasons for being addicts and different personality traits. I have a lot of sympathy for people like Britney and Lilo who have dreadful parents and then got thrust into the limelight far too young and had no stability or security to keep them together. Life is difficult enough when you have great parents, think how hard it is when all you’ve got to rely on and make you feel loved or good about yourself is yourself. However there are also people who merely get into drugs through wanting to have a wild time and through curiousity or because they thought it was cool. Drug addicts don’t always come from bad families. But the problem is once they’re hooked its very difficult to come off it and sometimes the drugs permanently damage their brain and isolate them so much from society that it is almost impossible for them to come off them and reintegrate. The brother of my best friend at school was a crack and heroin addict for the whole time we were friends (from the age of 16-25 for him). The drugs caused him to become a paranoid schizophrenic and he would shout to himself, be violent towards his family and steal from them to get drugs. They were a hard-working couple who loved their children a lot but put a lot of pressure on them to succeed. (They’re an asian family and its typical of their culture). With my friend it worked well and she went on to become a lawyer, her brother on the other hand I’m pretty sure is still an addict to this day. They’ve tried to put him in rehab but he’s quit before completing it or gone back to taking drugs and been kicked out halfway, and its not easy to get him back into it due to the limited resources in the UK. People are partly frustrated by him and partly feel sorry for him because in many ways his addiction is beyond his control. So I don’t really think you can really say all addicts are selfish or all deserve our sympathy, its usually a combination of both. But I genuinely don’t think there is any hope for this guy unfortunately. I think the drugs have permanently damagd his brain and I don’t think he will ever be a normal functioning member of society even if he does manage to stay off them successfully. Its a very complex issue.

    But as for Lilo, I actually do think she is – or used to be – very pretty. A girl I was in love with for many years looks similar to her so she must be my type. But I have to say I wouldn’t go within 100 yards of Lilo. A skanky, drugged up, fucked up mess does not do it for me! Its a shame because if she wasn’t such a fuck up she’d have everything going for her.

  46. Z said on April 6th, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    @No sympathy for selfish druggies:
    Then you seriously have to forgive yourself. Have you done the 4th step?

  47. Z said on April 6th, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    Thanks, Billi. Good points.

  48. Z said on April 6th, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    “People are partly frustrated by him and partly feel sorry for him because in many ways his addiction is beyond his control.”

    I think this is the way many people feel about the addicts in their lives. And they try to help…how do you help and not enable? Fine line. And many have to get tough. Anyway, Keane, what you wrote was really well thought out and I agree. I’ve been trying to use words like most or many, because nothing is black and white and every situation is different. I do feel that many addicts – even if they don’t come from horrible circumstances – have low self esteem or some issues with-in…to make them curious in the first place…or think that it’s cool…and there is always genetics. It is very complex…and each case is different.

    It is interesting about your friends brother. I had a friend when I was younger that drank and probably did all sorts of drugs…later he was also diagnosed as a schizophrenic. So did the drugs cause it or did he do the drugs because of it? I know he was an alcoholic and could not quit…and it was making his schizophrenia so much worse. He was also an extremely talented musician…so, so sad. He wouldn’t stay on his meds…I don’t think there was anything his family could do. Pretty tragic.

  49. Billi said on April 6th, 2009 at 2:30 pm


    When I look at that picture of LL I don’t see an adult who’s trying to be sexy, I see a young girl so messed up she’s lost her sense of self-respect. That’s why it bothers me.

    My uncle was an alcoholic for many years, until my mother along with his kids did an intervention. Sure he may have been at rock bottom but I believe to this day the intervention by those close to him made a difference. He got sober soon after and lived a good life for his remaining years. It’s possible that if LL’s parents had their shit together things might have turned out different for her.

  50. Z said on April 6th, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    Same here, Billi….I think it is really so sad.

    I’m so happy that the intervention worked!!! And may have been helped by him hitting rock bottom (I know with most addicts, that’s what it comes to). But you know, maybe an intervention can help bring rock bottom on…I think if a person is close to the bottom having everyone close to you confront you may bring the rock bottom up to you….anyway, that is so awesome that it worked. I bet your mom was so happy!!! It’s painful to watch someone you love killing themselves.

  51. Keane said on April 7th, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    @ Z – yes there was also that question with regard to my friend’s brother. My friend told me that the psychologist who had assessed him said that the schizophrenia was caused by the drug-taking, that when he was off the drugs he wasn’t affected. Their mum disagreed though and thought it was brought on by an illness he had as a teen. I think that was probably wishful thinking though on her part, they were very ashamed of it and didn’t want it to be widely known about. He was imprisoned for a couple of months for pushing her dad through a glass coffee table, they didn’t want to press charges but it was out of their control. When the court case came the mum asked the court journo not to write about it in the local newspaper, bad move, she made it the lead item. I could have warned her not to try to tell a journo what to do.

  52. Z said on April 8th, 2009 at 10:38 pm

    “their mum disagreed though and thought it was brought on by an illness he had as a teen. I think that was probably wishful thinking though on her part, they were very ashamed”

    Yeah, I bet you are right here…and then she could say the mental illness and drug use was because of the illness (maybe – I guess if timing was right). But it doesn’t sound likely to me. Sad how much stigma is attached to mental illness…makes it hard for people to get better. Even depression…it’s getting better – but still not good.

  53. p said on April 8th, 2009 at 11:20 pm

    [The drugs caused him to become a paranoid schizophrenic and he would shout to himself, be violent towards his family and steal from them to get drugs. They were a hard-working couple who loved their children a lot but put a lot of pressure on them to succeed.]
    Yea I’ve seen people who I felt were probably permanently damaged thru drug use as well. And conditional parents are in some ways similar to distant parents. There’s little mirroring and the child feels isolated, invisible, invalidated and in a permanent state of wrongness. It’s painful and they either strive to feel numb, or if they feel numb, thru an inner mechanism to shut off the pain, then to feel something. Just not the horrible thing that really hurt to begin with.

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