IUC Exclusive: Casablanca Planning To Outdo Toothy

Posted on February 9th, 2009 by HisHighness in IUC:Entertainment, IUC:Exclusive
Those who have followed Ted Casablanca's Toothy Tile blind item for
the past four years may be disappointed that I outed Toothy as Jake
Gyllenhaal this week. They may even be tempted to stop reading
Casablanca's brilliant Awful Truth column on E! Online now that the
fun of figuring out Toothy's identity has been ruined by yours truly.
That would be a mistake. The fact is that Casablanca is still King of
the Blind Item and is must reading for anybody who wants to know the
real secrets of Hollywood.

My credentials as a Hollywood sleuth stem from a couple of years on
and off posing as a gay actor to infiltrate Scientology and expose
the foibles of Tinseltown. But Casablanca is still the only guy who
knows ALL of Hollywood's dirty laundry, especially his twin
specialties of who's closeted and who's in a fake relationship. He's
been around for years and literally knows everybody in a town where
knowledge is capital. Best of all, his items are a written in an
incomparable style of bitchy and hilariously funny.

I never really understood why Toothy Tile became Casablanca's runaway
blind item hit when in fact Ted has published some far more
intriguing blinds over the years, my personal favorite being Crisp
Lisp.

I have it on good authority that an upcoming Casablanca blind item
will be focusing on the closeted gay exploits of a much bigger fish
than Jake Gyllenhaal.

Stay tuned! And if nobody's figured out the identity of Ted's new
victim in four years, tune in to IUC in 2013 when I out them right
here.
  1. Keane said on February 9th, 2009 at 5:40 pm

    Got to be Clooney this time, surely!

    Reply
  2. Lindalee said on February 9th, 2009 at 5:44 pm

    He’s actually got a great blind item called Nevis Divine currently running that I think may be Colin Farrell.

    Reply
  3. Mary said on February 9th, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    I think that what made Toothy Tile unique and special is that it is about a love story. In the most superficial place and in the middle of all the blind items about closeted stars, sex, drugs and ambition, this blind item was about a man in love with another man, wanting to have a life and family together and willing to be honest. It’s a pity Toothy chose the bearding and extreme closeted path instead. But it’s not the last word. In spite of all the ups and downs and having everything against them, according to Ted they are together and have a baby so there is still hope that in the future he’ll choose differently. I don’t think any other blind item (no matter how big the star) will captivate the audience as Toothy did.

    Reply
  4. Kate said on February 9th, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Okay so I am a little confused, what happened to the mission Ian to outing stars? Now we are back to blinds? How does waiting 4 years accomplish your statement of faith about helping young teens and outing the frauds in Hollywood? I am sure Ted will find plenty to write about, after all 90 percent are gay according to him. Did someone get a cease fire?

    Reply
  5. Leo said on February 9th, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    We knew that Toothy was Jake since 2006 and it didn’t ruin anything.

    Reply
  6. Janet said on February 9th, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Ian and Ted, leave Crisp Lisp the hell alone ok! According the blind item he does not pretand to be hetero, and thus doesn’t deserve your giggly bitching. And if he is who I think he is, he definitely has consistently tried to project a truthful bisexual/androgyne image, but stupid press and fans have simply ignored his message, and that isn’t his fault. Do your homework about him and show some respect!!

    Reply
  7. Lindalee said on February 9th, 2009 at 7:44 pm

    Oh come on Janet. As many people know that Crisp Lisp is Joaquin Phoenix as knew that Toothy is Jake. He has been photographed “dating” a who’s who of glamorous starlets. So unless you were thinking of somebody else, your statement is not exactly accurate that he doesn’t pretend to be hetero.

    Reply
  8. Janet said on February 9th, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    I wasn’t thinking about Joaquin, but why shouldn’t he date women? I’m mainly heterosexual myself, and have been in love with a woman but had more dating & relationship luck with men.

    Reply
  9. Penny said on February 9th, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    Can someone please explain why Ted dragged this on for over four years. Why didn’t he just out Toothy and move on. In less than two months, Ian has outed more stars than Perez, Ted and every other media outlet put together. Bravo Ian, I will buy your film.

    Reply
  10. Not outing said on February 9th, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    Penny, for outing you have to have proof – photos, video, …

    Reply
  11. Janet said on February 9th, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    For gossipy outing, the famous person must pretend to be a hetero.

    Reply
  12. Lani said on February 9th, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Penny, I am with you, I got so bored with this after a couple of months. Blinds lose their draw when they go on too long. I think Ted told Ian to out this, how much longer could he drag this out when everyone already knew who it was, same with hi Fakey one. No one ever bothers to guess on that anymore, on any webiste. It is a given. Done. Next.

    Reply
  13. Long live Toothy said on February 9th, 2009 at 9:16 pm

    Lani, you’re missing the point – I love hearing new gossip about Toothy and Jake from Ted.

    Reply
  14. Kate said on February 10th, 2009 at 1:07 am

    That is a pretty hot pic of Ted

    Reply
  15. sun said on February 10th, 2009 at 3:16 am

    “He’s actually got a great blind item called Nevis Divine currently running that I think may be Colin Farrell.”

    Colin Farrell ??? I think of Robert Pattison!

    I agree with Kate about “the mission”, I am confused too cause I don’t really see where is the big deal!
    I don’t see an outing at all , Maybe some gossips fans or some Ted fans are satisfied but after??? People who think these stories are total crap , will think on it’s crap and nothing wil change in HW.

    Reply
  16. Mike said on February 10th, 2009 at 3:53 am

    I think the only way to create waves is evidence. Outing is about providing evidence for a claim. I think that it’s essential to have proof to expose a fraud and really make it substantial. If not, then it’s gossip and it’ll be pretty much ignored and counterattack by many PR plants.

    Ian, did you see that after your articles, Jake and Reese already planted the pregnancy speculation (you should expose them as a fraud, not just Jake but phony Reese too. She is the powerful one there), Leo Di Caprio planted a kissing picture (TMZ) and Justin Timberlake too (Popsugar). PR always counterattack with damage control, and the tabloids and gossip sites are bought. They are in bed with Hollywood. Nobody will print anything unless there is some relevant proof that can’t be ignored. You should bring evidence to gather attention.

    Your site is wonderful. Keep up the great work you are doing and being brave saying the things that nobody dares to say. I love it!

    Reply
  17. Fawn Hall said on February 10th, 2009 at 8:31 am

    People it’s bloody hell time someone put an end to Toothy. What lazy journalism by Ted and all the other media. Four years of our time. C’mon, this should have been printed three days after Ted’s first column. It took someone with big balls like Ian to come along and let the world know who Toothy really is. I will not read any more blind items. They have no cred unless names are attached to it the way Ian does.

    Reply
  18. Moody Blue said on February 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am

    Hoho, it sounds like Mr. Halperin got himself into huge troubles with Mr. Casablanca. Damage control, anyone?

    Reply
  19. Keane said on February 10th, 2009 at 9:53 am

    Moody B, if you think Ted C wasn’t in on this you are seriously deuluded. Ted was a guest on Ian’s live chat not too long ago, they’re personal friends. Ian isn’t stupid, he would have got Ted’s permission, we all know Ted’s hands are tied by E. Keep up the good work Ian!

    Reply
  20. Clooney's Closet said on February 10th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Sites like Defamer and Gawker “outed” Jake as TT back in June of 2005!!! They concluded that it was him Ted was talking about and moved on. Ian is about 3 years late and Ted knows it. I bet Ted is the one in L.A. trying to pimp the TT book. No takes I gateher since you can read it on line: toothytile.com, LOL!!!

    Reply
  21. Clooney's Closet said on February 10th, 2009 at 9:55 am

    Te’d hands aren’t tied by E, it’s a BI. Ian is helping his “pal” Ted pimp his shitty book.

    Reply
  22. Moody Blue said on February 10th, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    @Keane:

    So, which of them gonna get the exclusivity on that juicy “outing” market, eh? Friends, my a$$ ! :-

    Reply
  23. Keane said on February 10th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    @ Moody Blue – let’s say colleagues or associated then shall we if you want to be picky?

    @Clooney’s Closet – why do you think the concept of a “blind item” was invented idiot? Newspapers and broadcasters are dependent on getting stars to do interviews with them to survive, if they upset too many powerful agents they won’t get anyone and they will be finito. If Ted could say who it was he would, it’s not an elaborate game dreamt up to keep the reader hooked! Independent bloggers have less to lose and more to gain so they can afford to take bigger risks.

    Reply
  24. Clooney's Closet said on February 10th, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Then why does’t Ted get his own blog?

    Reply
  25. Keane said on February 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    I assume because he has a job with e and that’s his bread and butter. I doubt he wants to give up his career purely to expose the closeted gays of the world. Even gossip kings have got to eat!

    Reply
  26. Moody Blue said on February 10th, 2009 at 4:26 pm

    @Keane:

    > why do you think the concept of a “blind item” was invented, etc.

    What you say might be partly true, but much more simply, naming no names means no legal issues. And it also means the possibility of making up juicy stories ad libitum with complete impunity. Very convenient invention, indeed. ;-)

    Reply
  27. Gwen said on February 10th, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    “now that the fun of figuring out Toothy’s identity has been ruined by yours truly”
    “And if nobody’s figured out the identity of Ted’s new victim in four years, tune in to IUC in 2013 when I out them right here”

    Hmm, this makes it sound like no one knew who Toothy was, when actually the majority not only guessed correctly, but were utterly certain it’s Jake. Many who were sure have been following the blinds anyway.And though now you’ve posted some interviews with exes, etc there is a bit more, ahem, ‘meat’ to your outing of TT, many are still considering most of what’s been posted here not much more of a confirmation than all of Ted’s clues over the years. The idea that people would stop reading Ted and would need your encouragement to continue seems a bit absurd – both because it implies that people are still trying to work out who TT is and wouldn’t read Ted if they had, and that TT is the only reason anyone reads Ted. Neither is true, of course. Just feels like you’re giving yourself a bit too much credit, IMO. I like this blog but this new aggressive outing is offputting. I don’t buy the ‘ethical’ argument for it.

    Reply
  28. JustGuessing said on February 19th, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    @sun:
    I think it’s Gerard Butler since he’s a Scot and Nevis could be a Scottish reference.

    Reply
  29. Hi, nice post. I have been thinking about this topic,so thanks for sharing. I will likely be subscribing to your blog. Keep up great writing

    Reply

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