Those who have followed Ted Casablanca's Toothy Tile blind item for
the past four years may be disappointed that I outed Toothy as Jake
Gyllenhaal this week. They may even be tempted to stop reading
Casablanca's brilliant Awful Truth column on E! Online now that the
fun of figuring out Toothy's identity has been ruined by yours truly.
That would be a mistake. The fact is that Casablanca is still King of
the Blind Item and is must reading for anybody who wants to know the
real secrets of Hollywood.
My credentials as a Hollywood sleuth stem from a couple of years on
and off posing as a gay actor to infiltrate Scientology and expose
the foibles of Tinseltown. But Casablanca is still the only guy who
knows ALL of Hollywood's dirty laundry, especially his twin
specialties of who's closeted and who's in a fake relationship. He's
been around for years and literally knows everybody in a town where
knowledge is capital. Best of all, his items are a written in an
incomparable style of bitchy and hilariously funny.
I never really understood why Toothy Tile became Casablanca's runaway
blind item hit when in fact Ted has published some far more
intriguing blinds over the years, my personal favorite being Crisp
I have it on good authority that an upcoming Casablanca blind item
will be focusing on the closeted gay exploits of a much bigger fish
than Jake Gyllenhaal.
Stay tuned! And if nobody's figured out the identity of Ted's new
victim in four years, tune in to IUC in 2013 when I out them right