IUC Exclusive: IUC Investigation Reveals Jake Gyllenhaal Definitely a Flaming Poofter – Relationship with Reese is Toast
Does this mean that I’m outing Jake? Is the Pope German?
The worst kept secret in Hollywood is that for almost four years,
Gyllenhaal has been anxious to break out of the celluloid closet. My
old friend Ted Casablanca has posted repeated notorious blind items
about this since 2005, discussing a mysterious celeb who he dubbed
“Toothy Tile,” documenting Gyllenhaal’s baby steps out of the closet,
only to be shoved firmly back in at the insistence of his publicists
and management who advised Jake that it would be career suicide for
him to take the leap.
This has resulted in the increasingly sad spectacle of Jake hitting
the town with a series of beards in the fine old tradition of
Hollywood. Think James Dean and Nathalie Wood. Or, more accurately
Cary Grant and Randolph Scott, who used to publicly hold hands and
gaze longingly into each other’s eyes at the Brown Derby restaurant
in Hollywood, as Toothy Tile was said to have done surreptitiously at
a restaurant with his boyfriend in one of Ted’s earliest blind items.
Unfortunately, Ted’s lawyers at E have put a straitjacket on him,
preventing him from releasing the name of the subject of the world’s
most famous blind item (though Ted refused to confirm this to me when
I had him on IUC for a live chat a couple of weeks ago.)