IUC Fashion: Closet being used too much as Storage Space

Posted on November 14th, 2008 by HisHighness in IUC:Entertainment, IUC:Fashion

Carey dressed as a straight man - but was he?
There was a time – not too long ago – when men were men and women were women. And men who weren’t men at least attempted to convince the public that they were. Take Rock Hudson for instance – a homosexual so staunch in his commitment to the closet even AIDS couldn’t tear the lumberjack shirt from his back. At one time, it was the job of fashion to conceal the sexual proclivities of even the most ubiquitous of mincers so expertly that a man as overtly poncey as Carey Grant could be called straight.
Of late, however, the fashion world has enabled men to become all too comfortable with their masculinity, propelling them to parade around public in clothes so unmanning that the veterinary dog-cone could replace the handkerchief to become the new-man’s obligatory accoutrement. Painted-on pants, pointy shoes, pink shirts, Gucci murses, and floral patterns are all perfectly acceptable modes of dress for the modern man. Girly-man Jude Law goes out to dinner wearing an ascot and patent leather shoes and is considered to be the portrait of seething virility.
But, the biggest insult to machismo is the recently en vogue usage of the indoor scarf. There is nothing more effeminate than wearing a functional accessory simply for the sake of wearing it – especially when it indicates a slight, ladylike chill. Soon women will be removing their stockings to wrap around the shivering shoulders of their gynecoid dates while trying to force-feed them, for fear of an epidemic of manorexia.
Male fashion needs to be put back into perspective; Karl Lagerfeld dresses the same as Justin Timberlake and the public accepts it without batting a homophobic eye. Is the next step for men to walk around with blackberries in one hand and silk fans in the other? Thank God Obama (love him but let’s face it, a little bit girly) had the foresight to choose a real man like Rahm Emmanuel as the Chief of Staff or else the White House would be so limp-wristed that the war would never end.
Forward momentum is usually a good thing but fashion never works unless it looks back and right now it’s getting ahead of itself in a really bad way. The closet is being used too much as storage space and not enough as a symbol of concealed femininity and must return to the world of fashion in all of its clinging to manhood glory.
(posted by IUC correspondent Erin Hershberg)

  1. Emily Southwood said on November 15th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

    Dearest Erin,

    I was with you, for a sec, until two little words popped into my head: bow tie. You see, Erin, if we are to poo poo the man scarf, then what, god almighty, do we do with the bow tie? As a heterosexual woman, I like a man’s man as much as the next gal but there are a few other things I like, one of them– a man who can dance me to the moon in patent leather like it ain’t no thing. And while I could argue that there is nothing that bellows fruit like a bow tie, some of our manliest of days gone by have been a big hunk of man wrapped in a bow. Mmmm.

    But then, I may be showing my colours here because Vince Neil in spangled tights swilling Jack always kind of did it for me, and don’t get me started on Mick Jagger. In fact, I think I secretly love a man in a noose, doesn’t every girl? Anyway, I say whatevs on the man scarf, I’m off to buy my stud a skinny strip of cashmere for X-mas.

    Love,

    e

    Reply
  2. Hester Prine said on November 15th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

    You’re a jerk. What’s wrong with a gentlemen dressing as such?

    Reply
  3. K said on November 16th, 2008 at 12:13 am

    I agree as a gay man I have to rely heavily on my gaydar now and I ain’t got time for the “experimenters”. You can’t trust gaydar 100%. Speaking of which I though I clocked Rahm Emmanuel with it as I am living in Chicago. I want the in shape men from the QG eighties and not these 12 year old Geek chic models. Men should dress as men used to dress. I keep seeing T-shirts I threw out when i out grew them in the late 70’s and early 80’s on guys who were barely alive then. The f’ed up thing is that gay men run the fashion industry and as they get older they market toward younger and younger men. I thought those markets were broke. I suppose as with everyone else they are now.

    Reply
  4. Hekki said on November 16th, 2008 at 11:28 am

    I have to agree. Let’s leave the accessorizing to the women. I prefer my men to look like men. Deep-V tees and stretch jeans looks really bad on men.

    My late FIL was a bit of a dandy. Seersucker suits in summer, pocket squares, polka-dotted ties, even a bow tie now and then. He wore pink shirts sometimes, to show off his tan. But he was a big, strapping, serious bear of a man with a deeeeep voice. He had terrific fashion sense, and oodles of class. Everyone who met him respected him, and no one could ever call him effeminate or sissy.

    It’s not just today’s young men dressing like sissies. Back in the 70s, guys wore bell-bottoms and flowery shirts and crap like that. I’m sure every generation in history had a bunch of young guys wearing stupid trendy stuff.

    Reply
  5. Bestfurniturelegs » Blog Archive » Shirt Storage In Closet said on November 17th, 2008 at 2:02 am

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