Coked Out Barenaked singer to play Children’s Christmas Shows

Posted on October 22nd, 2008 by HisHighness in Uncategorized

Police shot of Steven Page
The Barenaked Ladies are decent lads, except for egomaniacal, coked out singer Steven Page, who’s about to spend the next few years playing gigs behind bars unless his fancy lawyers can craft a last minute plea bargain with U.S. authorities. Page has a long history of drugs, womanizing and pissing off other members of the beloved Canadian band. Now, in midst of his trial for possession of the snow that is whiter than the powder Canadians brave for six months each year, it is announced Page and the band are booked to play several Christmas shows for kids. Only in Canada can someone be up on charges of coke and get put on a pedastool in front of the next generation. READ MORE

  1. Fern LaPlante said on October 22nd, 2008 at 8:51 am

    I hate to say this since the world has pretty much run out of heroes, but Steven Page looks better in that coked-out mugshot than he’s looked in years!

    Reply
  2. Pamela Stewart said on October 22nd, 2008 at 9:21 am

    Hey, The Barenaked Ladies have come a long way. I’m from Toronto, their hometown and back in 1991 they were banned from playing a New Years concert in front of city hall because the mayor deemed their name to be offensive.

    But now that Toronto strives to be NY/LA north, we are more tolerant and if a guy who does coke wants to sing songs to children from an album titled Snacktime, no one is going to stop him. I mean, he was busted in Fayetteville, New York. Here in the big TO, they leave coke snorting famous people alone, because we value our entertainment industry and want to keep the people coming here to the film festival and to make movies where Toronto can pretend to be New York or Chicago or Boston or maybe even Fayetteville.

    Reply
  3. John S. said on October 22nd, 2008 at 10:07 am

    If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) I’d spend it on some coke,
    Yeah some nice strong powdery Columbian blow…

    Reply
  4. Mark said on October 22nd, 2008 at 11:01 am

    Unless his lawyers can work some magic, then the only thing Page will be seeing in jail is Barenaked Men.

    Reply
  5. Ryan Murphy said on October 22nd, 2008 at 11:27 am

    It’s a shame organizers didn’t book their Christmas events earlier or they may have been able to book a slightly less rumpled class of criminal. On the positive side, it should be hilarious to watch Page as he tries to snort Frosty the Snowman as soon as he takes to the stage.

    Reply
  6. Sebastian Fort said on October 22nd, 2008 at 11:50 am

    I can understand the coke usage and pissing off his band-mates but…womanizing? Come on, he can’t possibly be a womanizer!

    But in terms of putting him up on a pedestal for the next generation, that’s fine. After all in Canada they don’t really have drug addiction instead they have socialized healthcare where one can go to a rehab if they become out of hand! I say bravo Steven Page. In fact – I say – get the next generation of Cnadians so high on cocaine though and so many of them that they get so angry with us that that just invade the US!

    (This is only of course if McCain wins and they promise to give us Celine Dion as Prime Minister of the Southern-North American Continent.)

    Reply
  7. Jonathan said on October 22nd, 2008 at 12:46 pm

    “It’s been one week since I did that blow, got picked up by the cops and said I’m sorry.” This is one of the last bands I would have ever expeced of having a wild side. I guess the only thing whiter than them is the stuff they put in their noses.

    Reply
  8. Alicia Butler said on October 22nd, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    Only in Canada? Is coke really the worst offense? How soon we forget about the Neverland Ranch…

    Reply
  9. Neil Karassik said on October 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    I must admit, and this isn’t just because he’s pale, Canadian and sings G-rated music (we’ll… maybe it’s entirely because he’s pale, Canadian and sings G-rated music), but that mugshot – although making the man look ruggedly cracked-out handsome – is devastating my entire childhood relationship with this band. They were the last remaining thing that was sacred to me. If this is what he was actually caught for, who knows what kind of dubious behavior this man has taken part in. I’m guessing it involves a lot of things I probably shouldn’t write on this website. But in all fairness, am I the only one who’s just now had a resurged interested in The Barenaked Ladies and their morally dubious frontman. I for will be first in line to see the man cover Bing Crosby’s “White Christmas.”

    Reply
  10. Roni said on October 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    Are we really diss’in on Canada and its judicial system here? Have you we not seen – ‘cuz America seems so apt on publicizing its own fantabulously corrupt judicial system on publicly aired trials, America’s version of justice??!!

    How many actors and actresses have come up for trial only to be jailed for 8 hours and then released because of some unknown reason………like, ummmm, MONEY!!!

    Pallleassseeee!!!
    How many American celebrities have done far worse than shoving some white powder up their nose, only to star in the next “All American” spectacle?

    Do I really need to name names here?
    These guys are icons, idols, to countless kids GLOBALLY and what has the American system done to keep our children safe from THEIR negative influences??
    How’s about teen pregnancy, drunken and disorderly conduct, drunk driving, domestic abuse, shop lifting, murder!!!

    Canadian justice!! Palease!!!

    Reply
  11. Aizlynne said on October 27th, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Socialism breeds acceptable drug use. You guys should get used to it. Looks like you are about to vote in a whole bunch of socialist leaning politicians. Leave them in long enough and they will de-regulate marijuana.

    Reply

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