Blech, she’s so loathsome. And Rodriguez is an idiot to consider tying himself to her legally, particularly as she’s dragging Ritchie’s previously good name through the mud the moment divorce is mentioned. What does that tell him about his ’soulmate’?

A–This is gross. She may be a befacelifted Skeletor nowadays, but she can do better. He’s kinda greazzy and looks like he’d grunt a lot instead of using words. Though I’m sure he’s lovely at the baseball thing, blah blah whatever.

B–I am confused as to why she is “adamant” about marrying a Jew, as she adamantly denies being one every time she’s asked about it. That’s like me reading a couple of books on Buddhism, declining to convert, but then declaring myself Tibetan.

C–I am hereby proposing the new celebrity couple portmanteau nomenclature of “Madriguez.”™

By now I’m thinking that “forever” means “until next Rosh Hashanah”, you know, because you get to start over every year. Bless her and her modern Judaism rules!!

I have no doubt that poor, handsome, gorgeous, and soon-to-be single Guy Ritchie is a bit relieved, I’m sure his next movie will prove us right. Or will it?
Dun-dun-dun!