IUC Exclusive: Madge cheated on “boring” hubby Guy time and again; Says A-Rod is her God

Posted on October 15th, 2008 by HisHighness in IUC:Entertainment, IUC:Exclusive, IUC:Music

Madonna found Guy Ritchie too boring
As stated the past several months, IUC has a powerful source in Madonna’s camp. Today, after speaking to our source we learned that Madonna had been miserable with Guy Ritchie for at least four years. They haven’t had sex in eons and Madonna had numerous affairs along the way to try to relieve the pain of her turbulent marriage. “She’s always had people on the side, especially on the road when Guy is not around,” the source reveals. “She’s had men, women, threesomes, foursomes and she makes everyone sign a confidentiality agreement. She told me numerous times that Guy is ‘too conservative and boring’. She’ll definitely marry A-Rod, that’s why she wants a quick divorce. She says she has finally met her God.” Guess A-Rod is more powerful than the Gods at Kabbalah.

  1. Pamela Stewart said on October 15th, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    How does that work? Just before he/she/they/ get naked she pulls out forms for them to sign? Does her lawyer also have to be there? I guess she needs to have threesomes because someone has to witness the signature of the person she is having sex with. Madonna is so careful with her image that I don’t suppose there will be any sex tapes like the Pam Anderson/Tommy/Bret/ et al tapes, unless of course she directs it.
    My dear, what would the English Roses think of all this?

  2. JCW said on October 15th, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    Appearances suggest she was drawn to Ritchie because he was tough and cocky and successful in his own right.

    Over the years his career fizzled and he seemed to morph into her Kabballah lap dog.

    Interesting that just as he’s exiting the relationship his career is catching fire again. A-Rod better watch it…. this woman sucks the life out of people.

  3. Ryan Murphy said on October 15th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

    Madonna is probably the only woman in the world who considers signing a confidentiality agreement to be a form of foreplay. When did T&A get replaced by dotting your “i’s” and crossing your “t’s”?

  4. Blair said on October 15th, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    Guy is too conservative and boring. Although, he does looks good on a Christmas Card home to the family.

    Sex and marriage go hand in hand. Without the sex you are more of an employer to your significant other.

    Can A-rod handle Madge? He better be prepared for the biggest roller coaster of his life. Do you think in his confidentiality agreement, his job is to stand back and hold the camera while his new leading lady gets to have all the fun, naked.

  5. Laurie Kaplan said on October 15th, 2008 at 8:36 pm

    Well everyone, it seems like A-Rod’s, uh, “rod” has been poking Madonna for longer than we’ve all been suspecting. I guess he didn’t sign the confidentially agreement! And it seems to be doing the trick for this cougar, who turned 50 in August. Hmm…I wonder what he bought her for her birthday this year? A referral to a good divorce lawyer…oh wait no…she’s probably has a few of them in her rolodex.

  6. Travis P said on October 16th, 2008 at 10:58 am

    A-Rod just wants a ring. If he can’t get one by winning the World Series, why not marry Madonna?
    Rodriguez initially intended to sign her sex contract, but super agent Scott Borras made him hold out.

  7. Jamie B said on October 16th, 2008 at 1:18 pm

    But this can’t be! Her publicist release a statement only a couple of months ago saying the Ritchie family was “joyfully together” and “all is fine” at home. And they wonder why we don’t believe it when they issue denials.

    I was wondering when she’d get bored with the “lady of the manor” act and get a divorce. Reunion with her brother coming in 5…4….3…2…..

  8. miamorphos said on October 31st, 2008 at 2:04 pm

    Anyone willing to touch Madonna’s skanky poonanny deserves to get held up with a legal form for a few minutes. Yuck. I never liked Guy, but I do feel a little sorry for him. Like I feel sorry for McCain. And people who lose in general. But I totally can’t stand Madonna. What a fake.

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