IUC Exclusive: Source tells IUC the Juice Jacked Off his first night in the Pokey; Prison staff members grossed out
A source at the Clark County Detention Center, where newest tenant O.J. Simpson checked in, claims he heard lewd noises coming from the Juice’s isolated cell. “He was definitely playing with himself,” the prison staff member told IUC. “It was really gross. You could hear him moaning and groaning before he finally came. And he was shouting out a girl’s name. At first I thought he was saying Nicole, but when I listened closer he was saying Nikki, Nikki. It went on for around 20 minutes before he quieted down. It’s one of the grossest things I’ve ever been privy to.” And apparently other staff members at Clark County felt like vomiting. “Three of us heard it all,” the source said. “It wasn’t pretty. Obviously, this guy needs major help.”
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- Tags: Clark County Detention Center, O.J. Simpson
I can’t believe I wasted a “the juice is loose” joke on that last O.J. article! It would have been perfect here!
Forget about throwing a football, O.J. must have a helluva strong forearm from stabbing and jacking alone. Whichever inmate challenges him to an arm wrestling competition in the cafeteria is in for a rude awakening. Mostly because he probably doesn’t wash his hands after either.
ReplyAuthorities are still uncertain whether they’ll tack on an additional charge of choking a chicken.
Reply“It wasn’t pretty. Obviously, this guy needs major help.” Ya think? I MEAN THE GUY KILLED HIS WIFE THEN MADE A MOVIE ABOUT HOW HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT? HE BROKE INTO A BLOODY HOTEL WITH GUNS TO STEAL HIS MEMORABILIA? AND B/C THE POOR BASTARD DECIDED TO HAVE A WANK IN PRISON THAT’S THE TIME TO COMMENT THAT HE NEEDS HELP? GOD – AS A MAN I KNOW I AM OBSESSED WITH MY…GOODS BUT HE HAS NEEDED HELP FOR AGES!
God…what the HELL would you do in the slammer? Kint scarves and read Shakespeare?
But ya’know what REALLY offends me about this? Hoe do we know it wasn’t NICKY he was spelling out?
Maybe he was sharing the jerk off with a cellmate…I mean what the HELL would you DO in the SLAMMER?
ReplyWhat is even more gross is that someone will steal the tissue or whatever he used to dispose of his poisonous sperm and try to sell it on the Internet.Of course now that he is in prison, he won’t be able to break in and try to steal it back. Maybe they should try to get a video of him jerking off and post it online. I imagine his O face is just as disgusting as his full on rage I want to kill you face.
ReplyI am coming all over you all right now oohhh yeeaahh take it sebastien oooh palmela uhhh pamela ooo yeeeaaah …
ReplyNO EFIN’ WAY !!! OJ…serving up a protein shake in prison !!! Say it ain’t so. I have a HARD time believing this one, not because of the 20 minutes (love a man with stamina) because the prison staff had all that time to get a recording fit for Youtubing !!! Now that WOOD have been GOOD !!!
ReplyI have a hard time beliving Orenthal James Simpson (the one and only) felt the need to rub one out himself during his first night in prison. Isn’t there some sort prison code, or etiquette, in which the snapping of one man’s batch is done for him on his first night in the joint?
OJ, mate, you’ve had this cumming to you for a long time. Enjoy your stay.
All the best!
ReplySo… the Juice released some juice. Don’t we all. When all else fails and your alone–get you some! Was he using the same hand he stabbed his wife and her boyfriend with? Whoa, that explains a lot! One man, stabbing two people– so quick. The work of the hand—amazing!
ReplyVideotape please? You can’t tell me somone isn’t going to cash in on this.
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