If you travel to Bulgaria or Romania don’t end up buying the Brooklyn Bridge

Posted on September 26th, 2008 by HisHighness in IUC:Politics

Bulgaria is so corrupt
I travelled to Bulgaria a couple of years ago and loved the people and fresh produce (no pesticides cause they can’t afford any). Only bad experience I had was going to a nightclub and being asked for a $1500.00 U.S. admission charge for me and my four friends. When I refused to pay a bouncer put a gun to my head. He told me to pay up or else he’d have my body shipped back to the U.S. in a plastic bag to be thrown over the Brooklyn Bridge. Luckily, someone at the other end of the bar recognized one of my friends and eventually we were allowed to leave. Check out this story for more about corruption there.

  1. Devon Jackson said on September 26th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

    OK, I get it. This is yet another METAPHOR for everything that’s going on right now. And what makes it all the more scary is that it’s true. This did happen to you. I mean, I believe it. I’ve heard the same from friends (and not just in Bulgaria, but Romania, Mexico, the Philippines).

    But really: isn’t it interesting that this particular anecdote of yours you happen to remember it in such detail, right at this moment in our national history when, hey, it’s like we’re one giant nightclub and me and my four pals are just wanting to enjoy ourselves but before we can this fucking mook–AKA our government, AKA our Wall Street Masters of the Universe, AKA our civic leaders–puts gun to our head and threatens to blow our financial and actual brains out if we don’t pay up. Right? But who’s that someone at the other end of the bar? Bernanke? The ghost of Alan Greenspan? Warren Buffett?

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  2. José Orduña said on September 26th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Well It’s really nice to see that we’re in step with Eastern European politics. Except I’ve noticed that in other countries corrupt politicians have to be sly about their dealings going through great lengths to cover things up. It seems that here politicians just do whatever they please in plain sight with no regard for consequence; maybe it’s because the American public is too fat and lazy to do anything significant about it. It’s also nice to know that we’re also in step with Eastern European health care, except here we pay far more money to have a doctor carve our kidney out with a rusty spork. Did you know that the U.S. is the only country in the developed world, except for South Africa that doesn’t give all its citizens health care? Yep, that’s why it took nine hundred and eighty six dollars and nine visits to highly trained dermatologists to find out I had dry balls and needed to moisturize. F$*# it, I’m moving to Bulgaria.

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  3. Alicia Butler said on September 26th, 2008 at 3:13 pm

    HBO is obviously to blame for this particular incident. Regardless as to whether or not organized crime is rampant in Bulgaria, why would a lowly bouncer shoot an American, point-blank, for the money in their wallet, only to spend it on shipping their body back to the US to be thrown off the Brooklyn Bridge? With fuel prices the way they are? And don’t these thugs know Brooklyn is the new SoHo? This sounds like a scene ripped from the script of, “Sopranos” from three years ago. The EU should follow the example set by the US and simply blame it on the media. Watch out, Bill Nelson. You’ve got some explaining to do.

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  4. Brady Sullivan said on September 26th, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    Honestly, they don’t have any bridges in Bulgaria to throw a body off of? Or is the water there so polluted that a body would actually bounce off the surface? Bulgarian thugs shouldn’t even bother with such complicated disposal techniques in a place as corrupt as that country. I don’t think leaving bodies in the street even gets you written up for littering.

    The on thing Bulgaria has going for it is their blossoming film industry, particularly because it is one of the cheapest countries in the world to shoot a film in. How else would Bruce Campbell be able to make “The Man With the Screaming Brain”? So maybe these Bulgarian gangsters are just hoping Scorsese will decide to helm a film in their country and need some convincing extras.

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  5. Sosso said on October 8th, 2008 at 9:16 am

    @Devon Jackson
    Where such things happen in Romania? This is a big lie. If you don’t know how the things are , better STFU.

    Reply
  6. Slash said on October 12th, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    LOL this is how urban legend forms, some friend heard something from some other friend then the distorted story become his own. The original events as published in the newspapers were as following: 5 marines on a weekend permission, went to a striptease club and spent all night with girls and champagnes expecting the bill to be peanuts (2-300 usd) but in the morning when they wanted to leave the bill was 1500, they didn’t had the money, start arguing that is too much and though they can fight their way out, but they underestimated the bouncers fighting skills and all walked out with broken teeth and dignity. What they didn’t know is that in such places the Champagne word is the code name for payed sex, you buy an expensive Champagne bottle of 200 USD and you get the Champagne bottle plus the girl is yours for the night to take home or do whatever you want. Apparently they didn’t know what they were ordering, and kept ordering champagnes for the girls, which entertain them for the night. The girls were not all over them because of how handsome they were but because of the payed services. When you are in a foreign country and especially in bad neighborhoods don’t get too cocky and learn a bit about the local culture, “dictionary” and habits.

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