Coked out Dame Helen Mirren says Mike Tyson was innocent and that she was date raped twice

Posted on September 25th, 2008 by HisHighness in IUC:Bits, IUC:Entertainment, Uncategorized

Helen Mirren admits sex, coke and shoplifting
This Dame recently opened up to GQ about doing coke, shoplifting and having lots of dalliances. Now, she talks about Mike Tyson being innocent of rape and how women in general should beware of date rape. As if this delirious actress was really friends with Iron Mike. Helen Mirren obviously needs serious help and attention because noone has really cared much about her since she played The Queen. The sadness of seeing washed up stars beg for media. Read This

  1. Alicia Butler said on September 25th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    Based on that picture, GQ isn’t the only one Dame Helen Mirren has opened up for. Seems as though she’s in on Sarah Palin’s rape kit plan and has taken the bull by the horns and started sprinting towards the GHB finish line. As a method actor, Mirren may have taken her last film, “National Treasure Book of Secrets” a bit too seriously and completed a full fledged metamorphous of her character, Emily Appleton. One can only hope, once the making of, “Alfred Hitchcock and the Making of Psycho” has been completed, the dame won’t take such a drastic stance in her portrayal of Alma Reville and insist on channeling the first lady of horror during every magazine interview.

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  2. Devon Jackson said on September 25th, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Well, whaddaya expect from a Rooskie? I mean, as fine a thesp as Dame Hel is, she does come from that long line of Libertarianesque expat Russians who claimed to have been descended from the royal line of Tsars and Tsarinas. It’s in her blood to blame the victim–even when that victim, allegedly, was once, er, twice, herself.

    I interviewed her once way back–before she played Liz and some years after her run of sex-vamp characters–and she was a tough nut. And smacked of crankiness of the sort that could hang out in the backroom with the O’Reilly gang puffing stogies and blurting out at the TV ’bout how much they’d like to tap that ass.

    Another case of a woman–a woman who’s made it and now has it all–dissing her fellow women who don’t have as much as she now has.

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  3. José Orduña said on September 25th, 2008 at 6:12 pm

    Coked out Dame Helen Mirren is amazing. I never thought an old lady would be able to shorten my pants the way she does. Although I wonder how much of her cougarness is because of airbrushing and such. I think it’s quite possible that in the privacy of her own bedroom, snuggled between her high thread count egyptian linen sheets, she may look like a bundle of stuck-together raisins. As far as her commentary, I don’t think anyone that was in any of the Nation Treasure atrocities has the right to express their opinion on anything.

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  4. Brady Sullivan said on September 25th, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    It really does seem like a desperate ploy for attention by Dame Helen, both in regards to the media and probably men as well. It’s like she’s practically inviting men to try and date rape her with that kind of attitude. Say what you will about her Oscar, Emmy, and countless film festival wins, it seems to me that Helen has yet to get over her devastating loss at the Teen Choice Awards for her performance in “Teaching Mrs. Tingle.” You don’t lose out in the category of “Choice Sleazebag” to Mike Meyers’ role as Fat Bastard without leaving extremely humbled. (Sadly, that is all actually true)

    And what’s going on in that picture? Does Helen’s bellybutton have cleavage?

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  5. Brady Sullivan said on September 25th, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    I don’t agree with the Dame’s stance on a woman assuming the responsibility in these kinds of rape cases, but I do kind of see her point in regards to Mike Tyson’s case. You should never go to a hotel room with someone that bit another man’s ear off and has a ridiculous tattoo across his face and expect it to end well. Rationality and self-control are not in his vocabulary. Though I would like to hear him say them with his funny lisp. Stick with safer boxers like George Foreman. At least he’ll just try to sell you a grill.

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  6. B David Ferrel said on September 26th, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    She wouldn’t have the “bait” dangling if she (at least subconsciously) didn’t WANT that attention. One Word: HOOTERS!

    Reply
  7. Deep Dish said on September 27th, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Helen Mirren. Mike Tyson. Those are two names that should never be featured in the same sentence, let alone an entire article.

    Reply

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